


Dreams of a king, dreams of a knight

by anderswasright



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: M/M, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-25
Updated: 2011-11-25
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:04:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anderswasright/pseuds/anderswasright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stannis and Davos think about each other. Written for the http://gotexchange-mod.livejournal.com/829.html comment fic meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams of a king, dreams of a knight

**Author's Note:**

> for linndechir <3

STANNIS

  


  
His knight's very presence made him feel more calm and soothed his anger. Davos was not handsome or gallant, but he had always been simple, honest and respectful. And respect was something Stannis desired above all. He never got it from his brothers. Their lack of love had also made him suffer, although he kept saying to himself he didn't care, but it hurt even more how Robert liked to mock him and humiliate him for no reason. He had always been obedient as a younger brother ought to be, and although he didn't like Robert's lifestyle, he tried not to criticize him often - and not when others could hear it. When he was a boy, Robert had been his hero, much as he had been little Renly's hero, long after Stannis was old enough to see his flaws.  
And he didn't like to think about Renly. No matter how many times he told himself he didn't kill him, he never dared to ask Melisandre just _how_ she did it. He knew, deep down, that he had a part in it, however unwillingly, and he felt guilty even after all this time.  
But Davos never blamed him. He only saw loyalty in those warm brown eyes, and his knight gave him all the respect and love he should've got from his brothers.  
Sometimes he still wondered why Davos came to his aid at Storm's End. He knew him for a good man, ready to help even strangers, but after that, what did the smuggler see in him that made him accept the young lord's offer?  
 _I never was a charismatic man. No one would follow me through the seven hells like they followed Robert. Yet Davos would. Without even asking. Why?_  
When he saw him after a long time, he felt like a thirsty stag finding a fresh, cool well. At these times he realized how much Davos meant for him. Once he said a king has no friends, only subjects and enemies. It was not true.  
So many times he tried to collect his courage to embrace him, because words failed him if he would try to talk about feelings. He wanted to say it with a touch. But it was impossible. He had a reputation to keep and he could't allow himself a moment of weakness, and admitting how much he needed Davos, not just as an advisor, would be a weakness.  
His worst nightmare was that he would lose him one day, and he wouldn't be able to tell him how grateful he was for his friendship. When he thought him dead after the Blackwater, he mourned desperately and cursed himself. Yet now that he got him back, he again couldn't open up to him.  
 _Someday I will, Davos. I promise._

 

 _  
_

DAVOS

 

  
He knew already.  
Sometimes he caught his king's longing looks and sorrowful sighs, and at those times he wanted to hold him, to tell him he'd always be his man, and to him he was the only true king.  
But he knew Stannis well enough. His king would never talk about what haunted his soul. The red woman might think she knows his secrets, but she knew nothing, there were things her fires didn't tell. How could she ever understand the king's loneliness and doubts? She saw a hero where there was a tormented man, a man who needed love but despaired of it.  
To Davos, he was a hero too, but differently. Stannis wasn't a man who stormed through a battlefield or won tourneys. His courage was in his iron will and strength. Which boy would have endured the siege of Storm's End without breaking and giving up? But Stannis yielded to no one.  
And even after his terrible defeat at Blackwater, he fought on stubbornly. If anyone could win this hopeless war, it was him.  
Davos often wondered what his kiss would feel like. Would his tense muscles loosen up? Could he ever allow himself to melt into a kiss and feel happy, just for a moment?  
 _Did you even kiss anyone since your wedding ceremony?_ He remembered it: the saddest wedding he had seen. Stannis was still a boy, awkward and austere, and Selyse was ugly and sulky even as a bride. And then Robert ruined the already bad day even more.  
The problem with Robert was that he didn't even notice when he was being an asshole. He was quick to anger and quick to forgive and didn't realize when he offended someone.  
But Stannis never forgot an insult, and as years passed, he grew more and more bitter. He rarely smiled, and even then it looked like a frown. But sometimes Davos caught a tender look from those dark blue eyes, a shy smile that came from the heart, and in moments like that Stannis looked years younger. He lived for these small signs. His love for the king was deep and unconditional, yet he knew he could not expect the same. So even a little smile made him tremble inside.  
He would've died for Stannis without a second thought. Sometimes he prayed he could, even if it meant he would never see his wife and sons again. He loved them, but his king needed his love even more.


End file.
